Definition: “Belief in self. Confidence in personal value and worth as an individual person”
“Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.” ~Claude Bissell
I have been waiting around most of my life hoping that someone would grant me the opportunity to speak up and be heard. Until I realised that no one was going to “grant” me anything, if I wanted to be heard I would have to make my own opportunities.
I think that is why it took me so long to actually publish my blog, even thought I had written posts, I was not ready to share it with anyone. It all comes down to a healthy amount of self-confidence, believing in yourself and facing your fear of failure.
I am certain that even the most successful people have had moments of doubt, some time in their lives. It is all about overcoming the doubt and stepping outside of your comfort zone.
So why we are still faced with this issue in a world besieged with every form of self-help therapy known to man? There are so many people out there trying to teach us how to cope with failure and rejection: life coaches, motivational speakers etc. Yet we still find more and more people suffering in silence. Is it possible that we are too afraid to face our fears and admitting to a lack of confidence, would feel like failure in itself.
I believe that we are born with a sense of self – worth and as we grow, outside influences shape and mould this sense of self-worth. Where do we obtain our sense of worth from and how do these external influences affect us? Our parents play a very instrumental part in shaping our self-worth. Friends, teachers, media all play a part in how we perceive and value ourselves.
As parents we have the greatest opportunity to instil self- worth in our children by teaching them self-respect and confidence in their own abilities. I think it is vital that we do not allow the ‘world’ to dictate where our children draw their self-image from, and to not allow our children to fashion their behaviour on the likes of teenage celebrities. This is a very dangerous practice which in my opinion unravels all the principles and beliefs we impart to our children. Simply showing our children that they are loved and accepted will go a long way to shaping a healthy sense of self.
We need to believe that we were all made for a purpose and that we need to love and accept ourselves before anyone else can. This verse from the Bible says more than I can ever try and express:“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.Psalm 139 verse 14. We are “fearfully and wonderfully” created, this is our reality and no matter what life hands us, we are unique and amazing. Our contribution to the world no matter how big or small is significant.
What all this has made me realise, is that it is important, that I live life for me and not for others.
My husband – “the poet” wrote this wonderful poem which I would like to share with you:
To Live – by Grant Rossiter
If this day you can hope and pray
If this day you can find your way
If this day come what may
You can give life you’re very best shot
Then I know someday, you’ll look back and say
‘What a journey, I’ve accomplished a lot’
Along the way you might find you stray
Along the way working night and day
Along the way ‘How?’ you might say
If you can keep on no matter your lot
Then I know one day, you’ll look up and say
‘Thank you for all that I’ve got’
“The promises of this world are, for the most part, vain phantoms; and to confide in one’s self, and become something of worth and value is the best and safest course.” ~Michelangelo
It all begins with a look or a gesture. Who knows what the outcome will be, but in the moment, no one cares. The feeling is overwhelming, like the feeling of falling and not being able to stop yourself. We all feel this way some time in our lives. Whether the feeling is directed at another person or an object of our affection. I think it is a blessing to find someone to love and who will return this love. True love is a dying concept in a world motivated by greed and an insatiable need for self -validation.
My greatest concern for my children, growing up in this cynical world, is that they will overlook true love. I would like them to find a love and bond that is as strong and sincere as the one I have found in my marriage. I guess I am a traditional girl with traditional views and expectations. We are living in such a fast-paced time and I think we lose sight of those, although simple, valuable aspects of life.
I remember when just enjoying a simple coffee or glass of wine with your loved one was the high light of your day or sometimes your week. I think in these simple pleasures you find the true meaning of love and acceptance, not the trappings that society dictates.
My wish for my girls; is that they would find their “prince charming” on his “white horse”, who would sweep them off their feet. Every girl wants to live the fairy tale, the big wedding and white picket fence. The reality is that the romance does fade but through hard work, love and respect, the “love” will last! I guess what I really want for them; is to meet a good man and enjoy the love and respect that I have and still do.