Guilt Free Parenting
Lately I have found that the word “guilt”, seems to be largely associated with the act of parenting; I have come across a few articles recently about this very association. Strangely enough they actually should have nothing in common but still we keep hearing about how guilty parents feel about : “ not spending enough quality time with their children”, “not participating in school events or functions”, “not giving equal attention to each child”… and so the list goes on.
So firstly let us look at the dictionary definition of the word “guilt” – “an awareness of having done wrong or committed a crime, accompanied by feelings of shame and regret”. “OMW” 🙁 this does not sound like a healthy mind set for someone trying to parent children.
The big question is, why are we feeling so much guilt and are we passing the “Guilt Gene” onto our children? I sincerely hope not because the last thing I want is my children growing up, with such a negative outlook.
If I think back to my early days of motherhood, I can remember feeling completely overwhelmed by the responsibility I had for this young life – if you let it, this can turn into feelings of guilt, inadequacy and even depression. We might not realise it but we may harbour feelings of regret or guilt from our own childhood and this can often manifest, in a damaging way in our own parenting.
So what can we do to stop this pattern from occurring in our lives? How can we practice Guilt Free Parenting? I think, essentially we need to say NO to guilt! Which brings me back to an article I read many years ago, I cannot tell you who wrote it but the essence is: you need to practice “good enough parenting”. This sounds like such an easy concept but think about it – you actually need to learn how to say “no”. That means not over committing yourself – which can be hard for many of us to do, especially moms. Stop being a people pleaser – ask me, I know I am one, stop trying to be everything to everybody! This includes your children. I need to remind myself, that I do not always have to give in to everything they want and I need to say no sometimes and yes – not feel guilty about it.
This clearly is something I know I need to work on – so let’s say it together “I will banish the guilt!” 😀 Stop trying so hard and being so hard on yourself -stop the blame game – let it go and just be free from it!
A few books on the topic of Guilt Free Parenting which could be helpful to read:
- “Guilt-Free Motherhood: Parenting with Godly Wisdom”- by Julianna Slattery
- “Mommy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less, Focus on What Matters Most, & Raise Happier Kids”- by Julie Bort, Aviva Pflock and Devra Renner MSW
- “The Balanced Mom: Raising Your Kids Without Losing Yourself”- by Bria Simpson
- “Motherhood Without Guilt: Being The Best Mother You Can Be and Feeling Great About It”-by Debra Rosenberg
What a great topic! I am following you back! Have a great weekend 🙂
Great thanks – you have a great weekend too 🙂
Hi! Thank you for following my blog! I am returning the favor. Have a Sweet Week!
April
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Thanks April great that you popped over- have a great weekend 🙂
Amazing how we do it and if you don’t involve yourself 110% in your children’s lives, other moms will make you feel guilty – even if you didn’t initially! I know that growing up, my parents hardly ever came to school, they certainly didn’t lift for outings, read to our class, assist with the numerous things we are now expected to assist with etc. They only attended Parent-Teacher meetings if there was a problem and they certainly never attended Prize Giving unless one of us was getting a prize. I am constantly amazed at how many moms lives revolve around their children and when I look at my older sister whose children are all leaving home in the next couple of years, it is a sad and lonely reality that awaits her. I tell my kids that I am just as important as is their dad’s and my marriage and we deserve our time too. I don’t feel guilty about it either as I feel I give them enough. I remember my mom saying when Kyle was born, day time is children’s time and night time is adult’s time and we have instilled that in our boys from the very beginning.
I’m a new follower from the friday blog hop
Hope you can check out my page
Briny
Great Briny I will definitely hop over and say hi – thanks for checking out my site 🙂
Stopping by from the blog hop and now following you thru GFC and Twitter. I have been seeing this Pinterest around lately. What is that? Something like GFC? I would love to know exactly what it is and if it helps your blog in some way. It seems to be catching on as I see it more and more lately. Is it sorta like a RSS Feed? I would love a follow back when you get a chance and please let me know about this new Pinterest. Thanks so very much and have a wonderful day!
Mary@http://www.mmbearcupoftea.com
Hi Thanks for stopping by great to be meeting so many new people – will pop over to your site & say Hi! Pinterest is great it is a virtual mood board you pin pictures of interest on to boards you choose – awesome for getting ideas, getting the creative juices going. You can use images etc in your posts as long as you link back to original image url. Hope that helps – its definitely worth a look! See you soon and thanks for the follow! 🙂
New follower and would love a follow back.
Cher Sunray Gardens
Hi Thanks for the follow! I will definitely pop over and say hi! Have a great weekend! 🙂
I am your new follower and would appreciate your coming by my blog and following also. Thanks.
Ohio Outdoors
Thanks for the follow! I will definitely pop over to your blog. Have a great weekend! 🙂
It does get easier at first I felt guilty about everything now not so much. We all need a break now and again. I am stopping by from the hop would love it if you could do the same. Have a great Saturday
Hi thanks for popping by – I will definitely pop over and say hi! I guess as with everything in motherhood it does become easier the longer you are a mom! 🙂 Enjoy the rest of your weekend 🙂
Hi there, love your site! I am now following you, please visit me and follow me back!
please follow me back at http://www.debsdealz.blogspot.com
Hi great thank you & thanks for the follow – I will definitely pop over and visit your site & return the follow! 🙂
Great post! I think we, as parents, are too hard on ourselves sometimes and we try to be supermom. I’m stopping by to follow you back. Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment. Have a great week!
Thanks for popping over and for the follow 🙂 I know life is tough enough we do not need to put added pressure on ourselves to be perfect! Have an awesome week!