Image Source: Pinterest
Please Buy Me Flowers
Someone once told me that if you want a man to buy you flowers all you need to do is ask; I thought that this was a ridiculous idea! Why do I need to ask? Surely men realise that we need to be romanced and wined and dined to feel loved!
Needless to say, I was wrong, most men do not seem to realise these things for themselves (yes I am generalising) and if you expect them to just get it you could be waiting a very long time! Thinking that your man knows exactly what you want, can lead to immense disappointment, so you need to speak up and voice your needs. We all feel loved in different ways, which I wrote about in my “Love Languages” post; so its important to express what makes you feel loved!
It was quite amazing that once I realised where I was going wrong and decided to just ask for the things I wanted or needed ( not that I always get them – but at least I put it out there), it did become more spontaneous and I now get flowers whenever my man does the shopping. (which is usually every Saturday!)
Some people might feel that this method lacks spontaneity but at least I now feel special and loved, because I have articulated what my needs are. As my hubby once pointed out to me, as talented as he may be, he cannot read my mind!
So come-on girls if you really want flowers or whatever it is that makes you feel special, all you need to do is ask!
Images: Super Mom & Pinterest
What Is Your Love Language?
The Inspiration for this post came after a recent incident with my girls, it was nothing majorly significant but it just made me realise how different they are and how different their needs are, especially when it comes to love! So I hope this can be of some help to you, in your journey of love, be it as a mother, wife, father, sister, husband etc.
Do you know what your love language is?
Your love language is essentially the “thing” that fills up your “love tank”; in essence what makes you feel loved and appreciated. It is not always one specific thing but there are definitely things which mean more to us and make us feel loved. After 30 years of marriage counselling, Dr Gary Chapman started to see a pattern in how we give and receive love. He wrote a book detailing his findings, called The 5 Love Languages.
What he found is that each person has a primary love language and it is important to be able to identify what that is. However, before you can establish what your primary love language or your loved ones is, you need to know what the 5 love languages are:
Words of Affirmation:
Compliments, words of praise or love are important to you, hearing the words “I love you” would be essential to you. Positive words are vital if this is your primary language but on the contrary negative or harsh words can be devastating to you.
Quality Time:
You are the sort of person, that thrives on someone’s full and undivided attention. Quality conversation is also important and you appreciate it when somebody really listens to you, not just hands out advice. You also enjoy people sharing their feelings with you.
Receiving Gifts:
This is not as much to do with the actual gift is, it is what the gift represents. You would not appreciate someone forgetting a special anniversary but a beautiful card would be as valued as an expensive gift.
Acts of Service:
You appreciate somebody doing something for you, no matter how small the deed. Just having someone do the shopping or cook you a meal would speak volumes. The opposite would also be true; you would not appreciate it, if a person was lazy or apathetic towards you.
Physical touch:
If this is your love language, is not only about intimate touch, a pat on the back, a gentle touch on the arm or even having your hair brushed could be important to you . You need to feel the closeness of physical presence and withholding this would feel like rejection.
Now that you know what the 5 Love Languages are, how do you know which is your primary language? You can ask yourself these simple questions:
- What do I desire most out of all of these 5 things?
- What makes me feel loved?
- What hurts me the deepest?
- What do I request most in a relationship?
- What do I do to express love to someone?
Once you have answered these questions you should have a better idea, as to what your primary language is. If want to be sure, there is also an online assessment which you can do, click on this link to the website 5 Love languages. I have completed the assessment and my primary language is Quality Time. So do not waste any time, discover what yours is!
It is amazing that once you know what yours is and that of your loved ones, how much easier it is to understand how to really love someone and fill their “love tank!
Happy Lovin’
A Mother's Love
By Michael O. Adesanya
There are times only when a Mother’s love
Can understand our tears,
Can soothe our disappointments
And calm all our fears. There are times when only a Mother’s Love
Can share the joy we feel
When something we’ve dreamed about
Quite suddenly is real. There are times when only a Mother’s faith
Can help on life’s way
And inspire in us the confidence
We need from day to day.
For a Mother’s heart and a Mother’s faith
And a Mother’s steadfast love
Were fashioned by the Angels
And sent from God above…
This Thing we call love
It all begins with a look or a gesture. Who knows what the outcome will be, but in the moment, no one cares. The feeling is overwhelming, like the feeling of falling and not being able to stop yourself. We all feel this way some time in our lives. Whether the feeling is directed at another person or an object of our affection. I think it is a blessing to find someone to love and who will return this love. True love is a dying concept in a world motivated by greed and an insatiable need for self -validation.
My greatest concern for my children, growing up in this cynical world, is that they will overlook true love. I would like them to find a love and bond that is as strong and sincere as the one I have found in my marriage. I guess I am a traditional girl with traditional views and expectations. We are living in such a fast-paced time and I think we lose sight of those, although simple, valuable aspects of life.
I remember when just enjoying a simple coffee or glass of wine with your loved one was the high light of your day or sometimes your week. I think in these simple pleasures you find the true meaning of love and acceptance, not the trappings that society dictates.
My wish for my girls; is that they would find their “prince charming” on his “white horse”, who would sweep them off their feet. Every girl wants to live the fairy tale, the big wedding and white picket fence. The reality is that the romance does fade but through hard work, love and respect, the “love” will last! I guess what I really want for them; is to meet a good man and enjoy the love and respect that I have and still do.