Family - Inspired Living SA

Self-worth

Definition: “Belief in self. Confidence in personal value and worth as an individual person”

“Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.” ~Claude Bissell

I have been waiting around most of my life hoping that someone would grant me the opportunity to speak up and be heard. Until I realised that no one was going to “grant” me anything, if I wanted to be heard I would have to make my own opportunities.

I think that is why it took me so long to actually publish my blog, even thought I had written posts, I was not ready to share it with anyone. It all comes down to a healthy amount of self-confidence, believing in yourself and facing your fear of failure.

I am certain that even the most successful people have had moments of doubt, some time in their lives. It is all about overcoming the doubt and stepping outside of your comfort zone.

So why we are still faced with this issue in a world besieged with every form of self-help therapy known to man? There are so many people out there trying to teach us how to cope with failure and rejection: life coaches, motivational speakers etc. Yet we still find more and more people suffering in silence. Is it possible that we are too afraid to face our fears and admitting to a lack of confidence, would feel like failure in itself.

I believe that we are born with a sense of self – worth and as we grow, outside influences shape and mould this sense of self-worth. Where do we obtain our sense of worth from and how do these external influences affect us? Our parents play a very instrumental part in shaping our self-worth. Friends, teachers, media all play a part in how we perceive and value ourselves.

As parents we have the greatest opportunity to instil self- worth in our children by teaching them self-respect and confidence in their own abilities. I think it is vital that we do not allow the ‘world’ to dictate where our children draw their self-image from, and to not allow our children to fashion their behaviour on the likes of teenage celebrities. This is a very dangerous practice which in my opinion unravels all the principles and beliefs we impart to our children. Simply showing our children that they are loved and accepted will go a long way to shaping a healthy sense of self.

We need to believe that we were all made for a purpose and that we need to love and accept ourselves before anyone else can. This verse from the Bible says more than I can ever try and express:“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.Psalm 139 verse 14. We are “fearfully and wonderfully” created, this is our reality and no matter what life hands us, we are unique and amazing. Our contribution to the world no matter how big or small is significant.

What all this has made me realise, is that it is important, that I live life for me and not for others.

My husband – “the poet” wrote this wonderful poem which I would like to share with you:

To Live – by Grant Rossiter

If this day you can hope and pray

If this day you can find your way

If this day come what may

You can give life you’re very best shot

Then I know someday, you’ll look back and say

‘What a journey, I’ve accomplished a lot’

Along the way you might find you stray

Along the way working night and day

Along the way ‘How?’ you might say

If you can keep on no matter your lot

Then I know one day, you’ll look up and say

‘Thank you for all that I’ve got’

“The promises of this world are, for the most part, vain phantoms; and to confide in one’s self, and become something of worth and value is the best and safest course.” ~Michelangelo

Family, Mothers, Quotes

Mothers Day

What it means to be a Mother/ Mom
Upon deciding to write a Mother’s Day blog I thought it would be fun to ask my friends and family to give me their description or definition of a mother. Thank you to those of you who contributed. Here is what they had to say:

From Elaine Smith
“God created Mothers to remind every generation of their valuable input ….. A good mother provides her children so much more than a happy home. She teaches them how to feed their souls and gives them a spiritual foundation on which to build their life. She cares about how her child will face the world. A mother is hardheaded about discipline and soft-hearted about everything else. She motivates her children and praises them constantly to help them reach their full potential. She epitomizes strength, dignity and wisdom.”

From Kirsten Rossiter

“Nurturer, the most powerful Christ-like figure to our children… living out His Love, His Presence, His Kindness, His Goodness, His Patience… His Character. ‘ Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.’ Prov 22:6. The language of our actions will train them more than the language of our tongue. “

From Lisa Mouton

“For me mother = unconditional love”

From Amanda Wiemers

“On good days I think being a mum means “a privilege” and an undeserved one. On bad days I think it’s a privilege too, but with a great dollop of patience you never knew you had thrown in too.”

From Ian Rossiter

“For me a mother represents love wisdom, safety and strength. Mom has always been there to give advice and comfort. She has spent many an hour praying for each of us. God’s hands of blessing and protection have been on all of our lives because she forged the way first.”

From Shelley Nell

“Being a mother for me is the following:
– simply the best and worst job in the world
– teaching your child and then days, weeks and sometimes years later seeing that teaching manifesting itself in the most amazing ways
– testing your worst character traits (for me it is a lack of patience) every single day
– letting your child go is the hardest – whether it is something as small as a play date on their own, letting them climb that tall tree to letting them go to a rugby match on their own or away for a holiday without you.
– Nothing else on earth can bring you such immeasurable joy as seeing your child succeed at something they are good at.
– being a mom allows you to celebrate the small victories in life – learning to walk, ride a bike, swim a length underwater etc.
– it also allows me to be ‘silly’ with my boys and enjoy things like rollercoaster rides, building sandcastles etc. without people looking at you funny.
– it is also looking at things which you thought were so funny or cool as a child/ teenager and realising they were bloody annoying for the adults concerned.
– realising how much your parents sacrificed for you”

From Grant Rossiter

“Unconditional love, self-sacrifice and always there to help pick up the pieces. The go-to person when things just don’t seem to make sense and you just need to talk it through. Thanks mom for all the endless hours of listening and input into our lives.”

For me being a Mother has truly been the most amazing, yet challenging experience I have had in my life. It has made me grow mentally and spiritually in ways I never knew possible. I have realised that motherhood is not what I expected or predicted and that I would be willing to give up the world for the love and happiness of my children.

Today I would like to thank all those Mothers or Mother Figures all over the world that are so important to us. They are the basis of society and responsible for so much growth and inspiration the world over. So if we do not say it enough every day, we love you and appreciate all you are and do.

I have written this poem in celebration of motherhood and I dedicate it to my Mom who is no longer with us…

Just One Wish – by Fiona Rossiter

If I had just one wish

What would it be?

Would I wish for riches?

Something I could see.

If I had just one wish

What will I do?

Use it on something just for me.

If I had just one wish

It would be for one more day spent just with you

To tell you all the things I never did

To laugh and cry

To feel your breath upon my face

To see the pride in your eyes

To thank you for being my mom

If I had just one wish

It would be for my girls to meet you

For them to see just how special a mother can be

To know the gran they never met

To ask you all the questions they now ask me

If I had just one wish

It would be for you to know

Just how special you are to me

To say I miss you and love you so much

I would thank you for always being there for me…..

For being all a Mother could ever be.

Quotes:

“I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.” ~Abraham Lincoln

“Mother’s love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved.” ~Erich Fromm

“God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.” ~Jewish Proverb

Wishing all moms a wonderful Mothers Day!

Be Inspired, Family, Love, Mothers, Poems

A Mother's Love

By Michael O. Adesanya

There are times only when a Mother’s love

Can understand our tears,

Can soothe our disappointments

And calm all our fears. There are times when only a Mother’s Love

Can share the joy we feel

When something we’ve dreamed about

Quite suddenly is real. There are times when only a Mother’s faith

Can help on life’s way

And inspire in us the confidence

We need from day to day.

For a Mother’s heart and a Mother’s faith

And a Mother’s steadfast love

Were fashioned by the Angels

And sent from God above…

Family

Are we our parent’s children?

I cannot remember the exact moment that I first remember stopping myself in mid-sentence realising that the words coming out of my mouth sounded so familiar! Oh my word, had we not promised ourselves, long before having children, that we would never parent in the same manner as our parents. However, here I am, two children later, sounding more and more like my parents each day.

It seems as if nature has quite a strange sense of humour because if memory serves all those idle threats did not work on me growing up. Why now would I expect it to work on my children? The most vivid memory I have is travelling in the car, behaving badly, my Dad promising to stop the car and sort the situation out. Did he ever carry through the threat, no, but I remember this happening quite often.

How often do we find ourselves saying things that we know are not plausible but it seems as if the wiring in our brain has been tampered with, because we say them anyway. My favourite was when I was misbehaving, my mother saying; “just you wait until your father comes home, he’ll sort it out”. Now for those of you who have tried this, it does not work and it just creates more problems. Who wants to come home and be faced with a monologue of how naughty the children have been and then having to deal with it.

The conclusion I draw from this is, regardless of how passionately we try and deny it, we do adopt a certain amount of our parents, parenting methods. Can we change this cycle of mirrored parenting? I think that there is a certain amount we can control but genes and years of habituation, make change fairly difficult.

We are after all “our parent’s children”.

Daddy’s Footsteps

~Author Unknown~

“Walk a little slower, Daddy”,
Said a little child so small.
“I’m following in your footsteps,
And I don’t want to fall.

Sometimes your steps are very fast,
Sometimes they’re hard to see;
So walk a little slower, Daddy,
For you are leading me.

Someday when I’m all grown up,
You’re what I want to be;
Then I will have a little child
Who’ll want to follow me.
And I would want to lead just right,

And know that I was true;
So, walk a little slower, Daddy,
For I must follow you.”

Be Inspired, Family, Love, Parenting

This Thing we call love

It all begins with a look or a gesture. Who knows what the outcome will be, but in the moment, no one cares. The feeling is overwhelming, like the feeling of falling and not being able to stop yourself. We all feel this way some time in our lives. Whether the feeling is directed at another person or an object of our affection. I think it is a blessing to find someone to love and who will return this love. True love is a dying concept in a world motivated by greed and an insatiable need for self -validation.

My greatest concern for my children, growing up in this cynical world, is that they will overlook true love. I would like them to find a love and bond that is as strong and sincere as the one I have found in my marriage. I guess I am a traditional girl with traditional views and expectations. We are living in such a fast-paced time and I think we lose sight of those, although simple, valuable aspects of life.

I remember when just enjoying a simple coffee or glass of wine with your loved one was the high light of your day or sometimes your week. I think in these simple pleasures you find the true meaning of love and acceptance, not the trappings that society dictates.

My wish for my girls; is that they would find their “prince charming” on his “white horse”, who would sweep them off their feet. Every girl wants to live the fairy tale, the big wedding and white picket fence. The reality is that the romance does fade but through hard work, love and respect, the “love” will last! I guess what I really want for them; is to meet a good man and enjoy the love and respect that I have and still do.